The amusing delusions of Vandy Fans
“He’s stealing our recruits!”
“Have fun being middle of the pack in the Big Ten!”
“You left a rising power for a cellar dweller?”
“You could’ve had it all in Nashville. Now you’re just another no-name coach at Pedo State”
Boy these Vandy fans are a trip. Cutely naive but annoyingly vocal, they are fuming at the breakup of their first serious relationship. You see, after a century of football they finally found a boyfriend. He said the right things, he took them to fancy parties, and he legitimately raised their profile and gave them a reason to feel good. But he dumped them. Like a brick to the face, reality has hit them cold and hard. The truth is, he never loved them. He was simply showing all of the pretty girls how he would treat them and they took notice. As soon as he had one on the hook, he dumped his fat, frumpy nerd girl like it wasn’t even an afterthought. And now she’s devastated and lashing out:
“What does she have that I don’t have?” Hmmm lets start with a stadium that is filled with actual human beings during football games. Add to that the fact that the aforementioned stadium holds more than a large high school stadium and the fuzzy picture becomes clearer.
“He’s just doing this to make me jealous!” Um no, I’m pretty sure he’s gone – forever.
“She can’t fuck him like I did.” Hmmm wow this is awkward and you may be correct technically since you’re not a pre-pubescent boy. But I’m going to assume that pretty much anything you can do, PSU can do better.
Listen Vandy, it’s time to consider options other than a long-term, traditional relationship. You’ll likely never find true love. You may find somebody to fuck you from time to time but they’ll always be looking for somebody prettier than you, which would include almost any other program in college football.